Posted 8:52 AM by Tim
So, its May 31st, and I've been thinking about myself again. Weight and health, of course.

I'm not really happy with the way I look, or the level of fitness I have. I'm not depressed over it either, but I know there's room for improvment and change. A lot of room. One thins that I know about fitness is that you really need a goal. Something measurable and tangable that you can use to tell if things are working.

I got the scale out last night. Says I'm 210. That'd be fine if I was 30 pounds less fat and 30 pounds more muscle. I think, ultimately, that I'd like to weigh about 180 pounds. Of course, I'd also like to be able to run about without feeling horribly winded, or swim or bike or whatnot without issues too. Sure, right now I can do most of those things without feeling too bad (the running this has always been a problem though), but its not enough. I want to be fit.

The best place to start with a goal is to start with a timeline. Let's say, three month. June, July, and August. Let's say I want to be 180 pounds lighter by the end of this time. That's 30 pounds to lose. And, I'd like to be able to do, say, 20 reps with a 20 pound dumbell without feeling like my arms will fall off. Right now, I can do about 20 with the 5 pound I've got. I'd love to go back down to a 34 waist, but I think that a 36 is probably more reasonable (I'm a 40 now). I'm going to be nice on myself and say that I'd like to be able to do 20 situps in 1 minute without needing to lie on the floor for 5 minutes afterwards. We'll stop there. If I can get that done, I'll be quite happy.

So: 30 pounds, 4 inches of waist and enough physical fitness to not feel bad about myself. I've got 92 days.

Now I just need a plan. Quick thinking says that I need to change what I eat even more. Slightly less food, less cola, more water. Stick to the healthier stuff. Keep with the fitness regime. Use the pool at the building complex whenever you can. I just need to keep looking towards my goal, and I'll reach it. I might even have to increase some of the goals as we go. You never know, right?

Posted 10:12 PM by Tim
I got a haircut yesterday. Bren thinks its too short now. Everyone seems to be mentioning it too. See, I got a nice corporate cut last time I got it done. About 2 months ago or so. I'm not one to really pay any attention to my hair as long as it stays looking good and out of the way. So, it grew. And got a little bigger than Humayn (one of the bosses) liked. He mentioned it was getting long a couple of times, so I had to go get it cut.

I got it shortened quite a bit. Had the goatee done too, so its shorter all over. I expect a certain amount of commentary tomorrow at work. Which is odd because usually people don't notice my hair - even if I get a really drastic cut.

A little bit about me. I like my hair long. I had to wear it short for a long time, and really never had a chance to have long hair. Sure, I grew it while I was at university, but never too much longer than shoulder length. That was the length I had for my wedding, and I must say, that while it looked pretty good, it really was too long. Still, I do perfer it longer than shorter, but I'm not super picky about it. Shorter means that I can't dye it if I want to. Not that I ever have, but it'd be nice to have the opportunity. See, the corporate world I work in has certain expectations.

I mostly work for banks, so they're really expecting people to be ultra-conservative down to "business casual." Hair colours that don't exist in nature is some point lower than "business casual." See, I could go in there tomorrow with hair that was jet black and not get more than a few comments about the change. But show up with blue, green or purple hair, and there'd be a lot of questions.

Not that work officially bans the colouring of hair or such things. They tend to stick to their scripted statement on diversity. People can do whatever they like with their appearance, as long as they remember that they are working in a business environment, and they do not leave a bad impression on the client.

For some reason, natural predjudice says that if the person serving you has coloured hair, chances are that they don't know what they're doing. I'd love to be able to prove that wrong of course. Go in with bright Blue hair and do some great work. Get things done and out of the way. I'm sure people would adjust their thinking. Of course, this works lots better if you're in a nice stable office. Always the same people around. I do work for lots of clients, so I keep meeting lots of new people. If I want to be taken seriously, it means no blue hair. :(

Posted 9:36 AM by Tim
Another weekend. I didn't manage to get much written yesterday on the train ride home. One of the bosses was with me on the train, so I really sort of missed out on being able to get into a writing groove. I'm also finding that my editor brain keeps speaking up about which words should go where and how the whole thing should be structured. That'll never work. The motto has to be: Write now, edit later.

Well, I've got to get that email out right now, or I'm going to forget and then everyone will be mad at me.

Posted 5:09 PM by Tim
I had an internet connection failure at work today, so I tried to get the wireless network card in the laptop to work. While I could make connections here and there, I did not have any sort of internet access. I did a bit of reading, but didn't get any further along on connectivity. I'm borrowing a little bit of network from a nearby room for now. Even without it really being useful it was still cool to be wireless. Wow.

Posted 9:35 AM by Tim
Ok. Now a little about the new story. I'm hesitant to call it a novel, as I'm not sure it'll make it that far. To me a novel is at least 50,000 words. And right now, I'm under the 5k mark. I haven't even really begun to get into the story yet though, so that's probably a good sign.

It will be different writing this story than writing for the NaNoWriMo event. There, you have a minimum word goal and a time limit. Reaching that goal in the alloted time is all important. Here, there is no word goal. There is no word limit. Nothing to keep me from just stopping and dropping the whole thing. Well, nothing but my determination and foolish pride. I'd hate to let myself down by not managing to bring this story to some sort of conclusion. Whatever that may be.

As a bit of a rough idea of how my brain links things together, here's what's come up in my mind for inspirations. See, I've been missing playing role-playing games. So, I built up one in my head. Nearish future, alternate timeline kind of thing. With a sketchy world in my mind, I started trying to figure out a storyline that I could put characters through as a start. This storyline started to come together in my head, and needed characters to drive it. This is where the seeds of the story I'm writing were born. Yep. From role-play in my head. Before anyone even really managed to see the ideas I had. Now, I'm just picking up the initiative while I can to get things written down while my train commute lasts. After I stop commuting, I'm going to have much less time available in my day for writing. I'm not sure how I'm going to find time to do it then. I know that if I ask Bren, she'll remind me that I really should be editing, not writing new stories.

Gah. I guess I'm just going to have to get to that editing thing. Maybe try to book up a few hours once a week. It'd be slow, but it would be progress.

Posted 9:18 AM by Tim
Schlumpy. That's the word that comes to mind when I see myself in the mirrored windows of downtown Toronto. It's a combination of my hair (unruly in the wind), my jacket (overlarge and in need of a wash), and my beard/goatee thing (too long for corporate). Now, it may be that I simply haven't had time or money to go get a haircut in a while. Or that my shaving routine leaves much to be desired. Of course, it might also be that because I'm overweight, and tend to slouch that I look worse than I really am. Could be all of those things.

I do need a haircut though.

Posted 2:12 PM by Tim
I had sushi for lunch today. Normally, I love sushi (and this was very good). Something about the fish eggs being crunchy has my mouth feeling all strange though. I suppose its the visual imagery related to it. Oh well - sushi's still yummy!

Posted 1:37 PM by Tim
I've been thinking on and off about deadjournal. One the one hand, it seems like it would be cool to have one. On the other, what would I write about? I don't think I'm depressed enough to be there. I'd thought about it as a social experiment of sorts. Come up with a character that I use on there, but that sort of cuts against the grain of the whole site. Its supposed to be a site for real people and real emotions.

Anyway, enough about that.

I started writing yesterday. I had some time on the train home. Yeah, I've been working downtown again. Sucks, but there's nothing else for it. The story's not that great so far. See, like always, I've got the barest beginnings of a story, a reasonable middle and rough out of an ending. The middles are where I get the first bit of inspiration. It takes me a little bit to get to an ending since I usually just like telling and experiencing a story in my head for a while. The beginnings are harder. Most things really don't start somewhere, they're set up by other things that happened earlier. It's usually a long time for me to get to a place where we're not so far removed from the original inspiration, yet back enough to give a chance for some backstory.

I'll consider posting stuff as I go... but it'll be on storylines instead of here nif I do.

Posted 9:22 AM by Tim
Several update items here.

First up, my system here was broken, but seems to be working now. Something to do with bad scanner settings. I'll get around to reinstalling the scanner another time.

Next, I finally managed to watch Bowling for Columbine, which I've been meaning to see since it released on video. Very interesting documentary work. Astounding statistics presented in there. Of course, its done that way on purpose. Still, the differences between Americans and everyone else just seems so strange. The little cartoon bit in the middle seems really cool - not to mention accurate. The new bit of knowledge that the creators of South Park are from Littleton really surprised me (Littleton is where Columbine school is located). If you haven't seen this, and have any interest in this sort of documentary stuff, go rent it.

It's the long weekend for Canada today. No work for me. I should really give my friends a mail or something. See if we can't get a get-together on. Dunno if we could pull off a BBQ, becuase I've left the cover open in the rain the last thre days or so... and its gonna rain again today. So, maybe we can't get a real party on. Too bad for me.

Bren's work is looking for something that will do a sort of e-business solution for them. I'm thinking, "What a great thing to stick on my resume!" I want to plan it, design it and build it, but its probably going to be huge. When would I get the time? Its a good opportunity though, and I really should give it a go. We'll see if anything comes of it.

Posted 9:01 AM by Tim
I've got a few friends that have journals on LiveJournal, but now I've got one on DeadJournal. Check out Lindorm's Words of the Inspired.

Posted 9:34 AM by Tim
The commute is starting to grate. 2ish hours each way is making for sleepy me on the roads. That's never been a good thing. A little earlier to bed maybe?

I haven't had a chance to get things going for the writing. I have been trying to do a little exercise though. I really have to start doing more stretches.

Posted 8:18 AM by Tim
A quick moment of blogging before work.

Several things have been pressing on my mind lately. First. I'm not spending enough time with the family. The long commute and later hours at work have me pretty hard up for time with the people at home. That's bad. Bren's working a part-time second job now (just one day a week, but that day is Saturday) means that there's going to have to be a few changes in the schedule for the weekend. I've got to start taking stock of the groceries again (something I stopped doing once I stopped cooking) and making sure that we get the best deals we can for food.

Second, I'm too fat. Yeah, two or three years of blogging and I'm still saying it. I have got to do something to lose some weight. I haven't been too loyal to the diet, but I've been pretty good with adding exercise into my day. Its time for something more. A little more structured. A little more active. I don't want to be 30 and wheezing my way up the stairs. I've just got to start doing something, and keep the momentum going. Maybe get Bren involved in the activities, she can help with the encouragement.

Third. Writing. I got the bug from NaNoWriMo in November of 2002, and it comes back and bites me again in the summer. I know that if I just got started, I could keep it going until I got something finished. Not like I don't have a ton of ideas floating about in my head. I just need to get them going. The hope (and maybe the holdback) is that I could also get a little bit of editing done on the side after or before I get to the writing. Maybe I need to hire an editor. Maybe, like people have told me, I just need to start sending out the transcripts to publishers. That might get me going.

On an outside note, I picked up MechAssault for the XBox yesterday. Pretty cool game. Stomping about in your mech bashing the hell out of everything. Of course, I'm playing in "easy" mode as the game is second hand and the manual has wandered off. If I could get Mark or someone else to play against me, that would be cool too. Reminds me, Mark's mentioned that he'd like to play a mecha-game of some sort. Tabletop, of course. I suggested Battletech, he suggested Heavy Gear. We'll maybe give them both a try and see what happens.

Posted 8:42 PM by Tim
I keep forgetting to do things. Things I need to remember. Like getting an ETR pass. I really have to do that tonight. I shouldn't forget, I just get sidetracked. Better get to it while I'm thinking about it.

Posted 10:33 PM by Tim
Right. The blog thing. I really gotta start finding a little more time for this thing.

So, lately, I've been feeling the time crunch of work. The long hours and commute all seem like I've got so little time to myself. What's my first inclination? Relaxing more? NO! Of course not. I want to start projects! Do things. Large, complicated things that I'll never fininsh, and that will bother me until my later years.

Right. I have got to come up with something different. Like maybe, not doing a big project. Maybe a small one. Something that I have time for. Like a 4 piece jigsaw puzzle. Yeah. One of those maybe.

I've been doing some reading on the train, but I don't take the train all that often anymore. I'm starting to do a lot more driving, so I'm going to have to start figuring out something that I can do while in the car, that doesn't require my hands. Hmmmm... I can't think of anything. At least, not without putting a second person in the car.

To talk to! Get your mind out of the gutter.

I have been thinking about starting to do some writing letely, but I don't have a lot of time for it. If I'm at work doing any typing, I should probably be working. That's really where my focus should be now. At least while I'm at work. I've got a dictaphone, and could try taping myself dictating a novel, but then I'd actually have to type it later. That's never worked before, so I don't see it working now. I have thought about just putting in an hour or so of typing ever day. Either evenings or mornings, but I don't seem to have that kind of time available to myself. There's always something to do. Like get the house clean, or help with the girls, or so forth. Really just not that much time that I can seem to wrangle out of my day.

Now, I know that most likely I'm just inefficient. Missing out on time here and there by doing things like watching TV or reading my comics in the morning. I could probably use the time better to do the writing thing then. Evenings seem to be really busy for me, so I'm not sure that I could really get anything done. Maybe.

Posted 6:15 AM by Tim
Just finished off Nomad, by David Alexander. I picked it up second hand this weekend. I'd finished the V.I. book at the end of last week, so I needed some new books.

Nomad isn't that bad of a book, but I didn't realize that there were so many euphemisims for "bullets" and "flew through the air." The book is loaded with one-sided gun play and heroics. Honestly, though, the main character waffles between god-like abilities and not-too-smart actions. Mostly towards the god-like abilities though.

And acronyms. Lots. You'll see some term mentioned, and then it'll be an acronym almost all the time after that. It makes certain chapters almost entirely acronyms. It's not too bad if you're used to that sort of reading.

I've got another novel in the series, which I'll start today. Maybe they'll help out with the overall concept for this GURPS game that I'm trying to put together in my head.

Posted 9:07 AM by Tim
Hey everybody!

Yeah, been a bit since I got a chance to write anything here. Been working long hours since Wednesday. Stayed with a friend of mine in Toronto Wednesday night. He's got a nice place now. Sick cat though.

Staying in Toronto was pretty cool. The walk here and there wasn't too bad, I got to see a lot of late night people and shops and such along the way to his place. I like that kind of thing though. Walking back to work in the morning I saw all the same things, but while the shops were just opening up, and in reverse order. Decided that since I hadn't had breakfast, I'd stop somewhere and eat. Took me a while to find a place, but I finally decided on a Montreal style deli. Apparently, they don't know what Montreal feels like. Never got that vibe.

Breakfast there was alright. Eggs, ham, toast, and beer-flavoured apple juice. The juice was the bad part. I'm not a beer drinker. And I'm not really interested in having beer with breakfast. I didn't drink much of it. It just wasn't the flavour I was looking for. I don't doubt that it was actually apple juice, just that it sat around in a bar for quite some time, and picked up the taste of beer from just being around.

I've been moved to a new position on a different project. Its a farther commute than going just to downtown, but that's alright. I can find a way to get there. The work looks to be less in total, but more intense. Kind of like a power workout for the brain. Heavier weight, less reps.

The work starts in earnest on Monday, so I've got this weekend to either review documentation, or figure out how to get started on everything. Not sure if I'm going to spend too much time on it this weekend.

We've come up to Midland this weekend to get our "new" car. New to us, anyway. I've yet to see it, but its supposed to be nice.

While I'm down here, I've got to get things ready for next weekend. Another game day is on then, and I need to start feeling out how many people we're likely to get.