Posted 7:50 PM by Tim
So, I'm getting used to the commute to work now. It's not too hard. The drive between the house and somewhere just outside Mississauga isn't too bad. Very little traffic. Then, everything stops. Literally. Then it drives really slowly for about 20 minutes. Then things get alright again and I turn off the highway and get to work.

I've started leaving for work later (and of course, also heading home later) so the traffic home isn't so bad either. Its more or less the reverse of getting to work. Slow in the beginning, building speed until you're well away from Mississauga and then going pretty lightly until you get home.

So far, no major issues with the commute. I wish the car had a radio though. I'm using a little "scanning" radio, but I think it's affected by the cell phone and engine noise too much. Keeps dropping the station I'm listening to (unless it's a really solid signal). Very frustrating when you're trying to hear a good song or interesting bit of news. Still, its lots better than having nothing to listen to in the car.

Posted 7:44 PM by Tim
So, I'm getting used to the commute to work now. It's not too hard. The drive between the house and somewhere just outside Mississauga isn't too bad. Very little traffic. Then, everything stops. Literally. Then it drives really slowly for about 20 minutes. Then things get alright again and I turn off the highway and get to work.

I've started leaving for work later (and of course, also heading home later) so the traffic home isn't so bad either. Its more or less the reverse of getting to work. Slow in the beginning, building speed until you're well away from Mississauga and then going pretty lightly until you get home.

So far, no major issues with the commute. I wish the car had a radio though. I'm using a little "scanning" radio, but I think it's affected by the cell phone and engine noise too much. Keeps dropping the station I'm listening to (unless it's a really solid signal). Very frustrating when you're trying to hear a good song or interesting bit of news. Still, its lots better than having nothing to listen to in the car.

Posted 7:44 PM by Tim
So, I'm getting used to the commute to work now. It's not too hard. The drive between the house and somewhere just outside Mississauga isn't too bad. Very little traffic. Then, everything stops. Literally. Then it drives really slowly for about 20 minutes. Then things get alright again and I turn off the highway and get to work.

I've started leaving for work later (and of course, also heading home later) so the traffic home isn't so bad either. Its more or less the reverse of getting to work. Slow in the beginning, building speed until you're well away from Mississauga and then going pretty lightly until you get home.

So far, no major issues with the commute. I wish the car had a radio though. I'm using a little "scanning" radio, but I think it's affected by the cell phone and engine noise too much. Keeps dropping the station I'm listening to (unless it's a really solid signal). Very frustrating when you're trying to hear a good song or interesting bit of news. Still, its lots better than having nothing to listen to in the car.

Posted 7:44 PM by Tim
So, I'm getting used to the commute to work now. It's not too hard. The drive between the house and somewhere just outside Mississauga isn't too bad. Very little traffic. Then, everything stops. Literally. Then it drives really slowly for about 20 minutes. Then things get alright again and I turn off the highway and get to work.

I've started leaving for work later (and of course, also heading home later) so the traffic home isn't so bad either. Its more or less the reverse of getting to work. Slow in the beginning, building speed until you're well away from Mississauga and then going pretty lightly until you get home.

So far, no major issues with the commute. I wish the car had a radio though. I'm using a little "scanning" radio, but I think it's affected by the cell phone and engine noise too much. Keeps dropping the station I'm listening to (unless it's a really solid signal). Very frustrating when you're trying to hear a good song or interesting bit of news. Still, its lots better than having nothing to listen to in the car.

Posted 7:30 PM by Tim
Had the first day of work for my new job today. Getting there and getting home through the traffic isn't very fun, but I expected that. The work itself hasn't really started, but I expect that it will ramp up pretty quickly. Right now, my job is just to get familiar with everyone and everything.

Learning applications is no problem, learning people's names will be though. I'm pretty bad with names, so I've got to really focus to get them straight as soon as I can.

Posted 12:41 AM by Tim
I said that I'd say what the final result of the interview was. Apparently, there was a chance in Hell. I've been offered a position. Woo!

Posted 1:04 PM by Tim
Worst Interview Ever

That was just now. I had a technical interview for a job that I feel would be perfect for me. And I've definately failed it. Its never a good thing to say "I don't know how to do that" in a technical. Never. And I had to say that at least 5 times.

To make matters worse, I got a few simple things wrong, and a few pretty basic things confused. Looks very bad. In fact, I'd have to say that there is absolutely no chance in Hell that they'd hire me. I'm just too far out of circulation (not a real programming job since July 2003). So, I suck.

Right. Friend of mine says "figure out what you didn't get in the interview, review that and try again." Good plan in theory. Practice sees me with not enough time to carry that off. Well, to me more correct, not enough ability to schedule time to carry that off.

That's always been one of my biggest issues. Time management. Given a small number of things, I'm not too bad. The more things there are, the less I'm able to cope with it all. Little changes to the plan stop me from working on the rest (unless I'm exceptionally prepared for those eventualities). Keeping everything freeform is more or less what I've been trying to do. That way, if something small gets in the way, I'm not stuck, because I can change the plan on the fly then. However, efficient use of that time becomes difficult, because none of the projects are actually scheduled to get done at any point.

See the problem there? I can't work under heavy structure, becuase I'll get stuck. But I also can't work in a totally freeform environment becuase there's no pressure. I need some amount of pressure to work. Otherwise, it just doesn't happen. I can do some pretty amazing stuff if there's a little bit of pressure in there. Take a look at the last NaNoWriMo stuff. I was behind a huge amount and managed to get it done. Because there was pressure to do it. Pressure to actually get the thing finished.

I've tried to work out a method of structure that's loose enough that I can rearrange it when I need to, but heavy enough to provide me with that pressure I need. I still haven't found anything that works yet. Maybe I need to try something new.

Oh, if my some miracle I do get the job, I'll be sure to post about it.

Posted 9:13 AM by Tim
Right, that posting thing.

What in the news? Well, I've got a potential new job. Nice place, nice people, and the job seems to be one that I'd fit into really well. I've got a little hope in it, but I'm trying hard to not put too much faith in there yet so that I don't get too depressed if it doesn't work out.

The painting has slowed since the original start. I'm attributing this mostly to the recent acquisitions. Just over 1000 points of Space Marines. Why Marines? Well, they're going to be inducted troops into my Sisters of Battle army. So I've got almost double the number of Marine troops as Sisters. So what? The way I see it, the Sisters are a small group. They leverage most of their battle forces from the local Marine and Imperial Guard. So, it's fine by me if they're outnumbered by the Marines. That's the way it's supposed to be.

I've kitted the Marines (or picked up marines with this kit to be accurate) with weapons you'd find in the Sister's armories. To me, this shows that the Sisters are equipping (or at least ordering the equipping of) the Marine inductees. That means lots of flamers. The Sisters like fire. Of course, I'm waiting for the Witchhunter Codex to come out so that I can start really fielding units. To do that up porperly though, I'd need to buy a few more tanks and troopage. Not quite ready to do that. Soon, if the money thing starts to work itself out. Otherwise, we're going with ground-pounders.

The local store has a huge load of second hand troops in it again. Tyranids and Chaos mostly. They do have a lot of cheap Rhinos though, and If I had $45, I'd pick myself up a pair. Cheaper than trying to buy them seperate.

On a related note, I've been thinking of trying to find enough troops to make little tester armies of most of the races in the 40K universe. For starters, I've already got Dark Eldar, Biel-Tan Eldar, Space Marines and Sisters of Battle. The Sisters already encourage me to get some Imperial Guard (they'd be inductees). I've been looking at Tau (too expensive for a starter though). The stores local have a number of Necrons, Orks and Guard for cheap. I could probably nab enough Chaos to put something together too.

The point there, is that I'd be able to provide people with various armies, so that they'd get a chance to see what they look like, and see how they handle. Sometimes, you don't really get a good impression of the way they work until you see them in action. Now, I'm not thinking of anything big. Just a Commander, 2 troop selections (hopefully different) and an elite, heavy or fast choice also. I'm thinking of something around the 400-500 point range. Quick enough to play pretty fast, but enough to really show off the army. I'm gonna have to make up some lists that really showcase the army flavour.

Posted 6:17 PM by Tim
I managed to get a Warhammer 40K Skirmish battle on today at the local store. They're holding a big tourney in May, and using the Skirmish battles to get everyone prepared for it. Modified rules and all that.

I played against Imperial Guard. Interesting, becuase I've been studying the list recently. I'm very much liking the idea of hordes of Guardsmen taking over the entire deployment area. Of course, they're also pretty big on tanks, and that means some serious cash. That'd be the major holdout on that army for me. Though... with the Sisters of Battle we can take some IG troops as inducted members. That would give me a reason to pick up a couple of platoons...

Anyhow, my 12 Dark Eldar against his 15 Guard. Both of us needed to kill just 4 to start causing breaks. The terrain had very little in the way of open space on my side of the board, so I had some really limited shooting. Not good for people with lots of heavy guns, but I only had 1, so I wasn't worried.

Running troops through the brush worked pretty well, and I learned a bit about my forces. Always a good thing. I was also reminded of a few things too. Getting mobbed means that we tend to die. Mobbing them, however, pretty much ensures a win.

The battle took about 45 mintues, which is pretty fast really. Including setup, cleanup and such, it was just over an hour. Overall, I lost a Mandrake and a Warrior. He lost a Veteran, a conscript, 2 guardsmen, and a ratling. Enough to force him to make "bug out" rolls. He didn't make the first test, and the field was mine. My first game and first win. A prodigious start.

After the battle, experience benifits are rolled, and death tests are taken. My Mandrake didn't survive the battle, but the Warrior did. All good things. Each unit ended up getting some pretty good stuff as far as the upgrades go too.

I'm hoping to get out there again tonight, but we'll see what happens.

Posted 8:47 AM by Tim
Right, that "post" thing.

Not sure what to say really. I've been working on the Warhammer 40K stuff lately. I've got about 11 weeks to finish up the painting, modeling and flocking needed to make them really ready. Of course, I've got a few side projects that I'm throwing on top of them to give me a break from painting a lot of the same thing over and over. I've got a few Space Marines and Eldar that are in need of a little attention.

Bren's been talking with me about a lot of future planning stuff lately. Houses, careers. She's brought up the idea of medical school again. This comes up every few years. Someone figures that I should be in medical school, learning to become a doctor. Sometimes its me doing the thinking, sometimes its someone else. In the end, it all seems to come out with the same question, "What would I do?"

I'm not sure. I like the idea of research (not the practical application of it, but the idea). I figure that I could handle surgery, though I'm also pretty sure that my tremors would cause most people to balk at the idea of me doing any sort of fine surgical work. There's always neurosurgery, which would be done mostly with mechanical apparatus, so there'd not be a lot of concern over my hands.

Bren thinks I should be in family medicine. No surgery, no real emergency stuff for the most part. Just knowledge of symptoms and facts. Something where I'd probably do pretty well. I don't know. It just doesn't really appeal to me. Not sure why. Maybe its the total lack of glamourous TV shows about family medical practicioners?

Posted 1:30 PM by Tim
Armies

No, not real ones. Just me Warhammer 40K forces. I decided to do a tally of all the troops I own. I came up with the following numbers:

• Sisters of Battle, 527 points in 5 squads, including 1 vehicle.
  
• Space Marines, 764 points in 5 squads, including 1 vehicle.
  
• Biel-Tan Eldar, 516 points in 5 squads, including 1 vehicle.
  
• Dark Eldar, 2659 points in 15 squads, including 4 vehicles.
  

The Space Marines are new (well, new to me), and will eventually be absorbed into a Witchhunter army with the Sisters. Both the Sisters of Battle and Biel-Tan forces are partially incomplete. The Sisters need 3 more Seraphim, while the Biel-Tan need another complete aspect squad to be a playable force.

Why so many armies? Well, first, variety. No reason for me to play the same things all the time. Also, it gives me the opportunity to let people without any forces play a real game. I can field 3 full armies (actually, several armies of Dark Eldar), and soon likely to be 4 (once I get enough Eldar troops). That gives me the ability to play myself and sponsor a few others. Makes running tourneys easier.

Hmm... the numbers of unpainted miniatures I own is getting higer all the time.

Posted 7:23 PM by Tim
Right, time for the more, I suppose.

Things this week haven't been very good. I've bumped a car, had numerous cash problems, difficulty getting thigns done and I'm suffering from a bout of psychopathic depression (or whatever you'd call the feeling where you'd really like to kill everyone, but can't seem to summon the energy to get started).

In short, it's been a bad week. There's a lot of factors all working together to make things suck, but overall, that's been the deal. Cash worries, medical appointments with long-term medication, a lack of interest in work, and generally the inability to get anything productive done during the day.

It's all working together on me, and I'm finding little solace in the things that I ususally find relaxing. Like working on my minis. That's been helpful. A little bit of de-stressing here and there, but there's so much else going on that it doesn't last.

I keep wondering if there's something else that I can be doing that would make us some additional cash. I'm not finding anything that would provide consistent pay.

Some of you may ask, "Why aren't you looking for work in your field?" Well, I am. I'm just not having a lot of luck finding something that's close enough, and in the right area that has a need for someone with my skills. Trust me, I'm going to pick up the pace on the searching.

Somehow, I've got to find a way to deal with this kind of stress. It's just not healthy.

Posted 8:20 AM by Tim
I tried to post yesterday, but the thing got lost in the uploading. I've had this problem with my system lately, that it won't let me get to certain websites. Gotta fix that.

Anyhow, yesterday's post was supposed to be about sanity, and how I feel like I've not got enough of it lately. There was a nice little aside about me feeling like I'm looking in on my life from the outside, at least in a hallucenogenic kinda fashion. No interest in retyping that right now. Maybe later.

Also, I had a little story about a very angry man at the McDonald's yesterday. I'll try to forget that I had the misfortune of even being near the man.

Today, let's see. Financial problems have come up once again. Seems that student loans decided that this month would be perfect to try to reclaim some of those payments we've been avoiding. Well, not avoiding really. We've been on Interest Relief for some time now. At least 2 years. We just haven't been in a position to handle the crippling financial debt we've accrued.

There'll be more later...

Posted 2:06 PM by Tim
And now, a short post on sanity.

See, yesterday, while I was at work, I was very tired. I reached this semi-exhausted state of zen, and started to see my life as a whole. On a few occasions, I've had the fortune of seeing things in this way. Detached, separated. Looking in on my life in a way that's similar to what you might experience if you were going through a near-death experience. Not really floating overhead and looking down, but just perceiving life itself as a seperate entity.

For some reason, I saw myself more or less clinging to the last fragments of sanity. And, at the time, I felt that way too. Today, with a little rest, I feel much more sane than I did last night. This is not the first time that I've felt this way. Like I could go mad if I tried, or just gave up on this sanity thing. Its been alternately comforting and frightening. Perhaps its just being overtired and stressed?

And now, a brief change of topic. I was out with my girls today, taking a nice lunch at McDonald's. Anyhow, there was this guy standing near the condiment counter, more or less at the back of two really long lines. He wasn't really in either of them, but I gave him the benifit of the doubt that he might be waiting to get into either line. Non-verbally, of course. He didnt' move as the lines moved, so I assumed he was just waiting for someone in one of the lines.

Over time, I could hear him grumbling to people who reached around him to get to things, saying "say, 'excuse me,' and I'll move." To anyone who reached past him. Grudgingly moving out of the way as he talked. This went on for a while until he said it to someone that did not like his tone. A short verbal argument and that was all. He eventually moved into line. From my point of view, it seemed like he just really didn't like crowds of people, and seemed to see everyone as slow and/or rude. Something not right in the social interactions there. At least, that's what it seemed to be to me.

Anyhow, that passed, and we went on with our lives. Everyone does. Though, I must say that I was worried, and also concerned that I didn't have anything that I felt could protect me if things came down to some sort of confrontation. Which is odd, because I usually feel quite safe. Maybe I've got some sort of unresolved confrontation issues? Hmm, maybe "maybe" isn't the right word there.

Anyway, I'm feeling much more sane today, and we've been looking at a change in diet, which could mean things being less or more sane in the near future. As I always say, we'll have to see.