Posted 6:20 PM by Tim
I don't know what to do about the girls. I can't figure them out sometimes. I cook something nice, and they don't want it. Yet, if they find a scuzzy bit of colourful fluff in the back seat of the car they will fight about who gets to eat it. No matter how old a bit of trash it is.

Posted 3:03 PM by Tim
Being that today is Friday, and also the day that I head out to Detroit, I may not post over the weekend. But you didn't expect that to happen anyway, did you? Of course not.

I don't know what it is about the weekend that keeps me from posting. After all, it shouldn't be that difficult. I suppose that its because I spend so little time online on the weekends. Where I spend at least 8 hours a day online on the weekdays.

This reminds me (in an odd way I won't describe here) about entrepreneruial stuff. Brenda read today about an entrepreneural grant that I'm still elligible for (18-29). I said, offhandedly, that I should apply and do some programming stuff from the house all summer. Now I'm thinking that, yeah, that might be a good idea. I like being home. I like being able to work on things in my own time, and I do have marketable ideas for stuff that I can program. The more I think about it, the more that it seems like a good idea.

Posted 1:26 PM by Tim
I've been thinking about the novel again. Well, actually, what got me thinking about the novel was the movie adaptation of David Copperfield. Apparently, in the end of the book (no, I haven't read it... yes, it is a classic. I know) David spends three straight years writing novels (and getting them published). In comparison, I've spent a little more than an month writing. Of course, David was writing to ease his heartache, and I write just because, but the point remains. I really should do more writing.

Now, when I think like this, I get the inevitable self-doubt quesitons. "Why should I write?" Well, I like writing. "Are you any good at it?" I don't know. Nobody has ever managed to give me a real critique of it (other than my English teacher who told me that I wasn't applying myself. That's not the same as "no talent hack.") I like to think I'm a reasonable writer. Maybe even good. "Will you ever make any money from this?" I have no answer to this one. It's only in there because I've got a bit of a money crunch. Probably not. So, the time that I spend on getting it written is probably better spent getting a job.

After answering all those questions, the thought of writing still remains. So, its probably going to stick around until I actually get some writing done. I've been thinking of following the NaNoWriMo method, which is basically to set a word goal, write for a designated period of days and try to meet that goal. 50,000 words is the NaNoWriMo goal that I'm accustomed to, and its a fair size for a short novel. I know I can do it (I've done it before). And it should only take me about a month to accomplish. Right. So I should just get started and write. Well, its not that simple. See, I've also got the editing of the last novel to accomplish. Now, if I had been thinking, I should have gone with the NaNoEdMo people and taken this month to do the editing (25 hours of editing being the goal there). I might just have to stick with that goal for me too. Doing them concurrently isn't going to be the easiest thing, so I'm not sure that I will be able to accomplish both. All the same, I like a challenge.

Now that I've set myself up for a challenge, I see all the other things that might need daily attention. Like housework and a job, and laundry and my drawing and other craft projects. That's a lot of my day used up right there. But at least I'm being amazingly productive!

So, here's the deal. Starting with April 1, I will attempt to write another 50,000 word novel, and will also attempt to get 25 hours of editing done on my first novel. I'm not sure how I'll manage it all, but I'm sure that I can do this.

Posted 8:22 AM by Tim
No posts in a couple of days. Thought that I'd catch you all up on the goings on.

I'm still unemployed, so it wasn't that I got a job and simply couldn't get to the computer. I'm still looking for work, and I've enrolled myself in 2 courses at the local college. One I have to go to every week (VB.NET), and the other I have via correspondance. I go only 3 or 4 times on a Saturday to take a test or something. Depending on the rate the correspondance course is released, I might be able to finish up within a month or so. Going to do the tests would be just a prefunctory thing then.

The weather out here has been nice lately. Warmish with a bit of wind. Wind is my first favourite weather. Most people would probably put sunny, or something there. Sunny is probably 4th for me. I don't like the light that much. FYI, just after windy is fog. I love fog.

There was a VTES tourney last weekend. I meant to attend, but it didn't happen. I didn't have the cash to lay out for it. I went to the league games though. I'd missed the last 2, which put me behind on the games a bit. I played 2 and won them. I'm 6-0 now. Which I like, but which worries me. I figure that I'm bound to be hit by some real anti-Malk hate soon.

This weekend I'm in Detroit. As a fun game, try to find me there! Heehee, just kidding.

Anyhow, I'll be in Detroit playing an invitational tourney that I helped to put together. Funny thing is I've been off and on about going to it. Seems that my finances can get in the way of anything. That makes me think about some other things that I want to do this year. Convention and big-game-wise anyway.

Origins. I went in 2001. It was great. I meant to go in 2002, but I just didn't have the cash available for it. I still don't have the cash for it now, but I might be able to manage something this year. I need to be employed. I won't have to worry about it until much later in the year, but its good to start planning early.

Anyway, this weekend I'll be playing games with the crew from the USA that I haven't seen in a while. Crossing the border into the US is a little bit of a worry for me right now, but I imagine that it won't be much of a hassle. We'll be bringing a portable barbeque, but no propane tanks for it. That would just be an unnecessary hassle if you ask me. I've got to remember to bring my passport.

The games should be good if we can keep everyone organized. And, since I'm the appointed judge, it'll fall to me to try to maintain some modicum of order. No matter, it should be fun. :)

Posted 8:35 PM by Tim
There are some things that take me forever to do. Oddly enough, most of them are things that I want to do for myself.

As a recent example, I wanted to watch one of my anime videos on Monday of this week. I still haven't seen it. Not that I haven't had some opportunity to view it, just that I haven't yet managed to push it into the VCR and press play. See, I had it in the VCR slot around Wednesday, but never quite got around to watching it. I may get to see it tonight, but probably only if I arrange to stay up late. And this is something that I want to do for myself. No wonder I never do anything for anyone else when I want to.

Posted 5:46 PM by Tim
I'm going over my "How to Draw Manga" books again. The first one is all about compiling characters. Once you get past the hokey stuff about being a manga-ka (crazy amount of work it seems), then they finally get to the good stuff. Its not as good a book as I'd like for a beginner like me (its a more advanced than I am able to draw).

I'm going to try to make myself draw every day though. See if I can improve.

Posted 4:47 PM by Tim
Ok. I've got an issue that's fresh in my mind. Its a little personal, but I'm willing to share. Trouble is, its about other people too. And they might just read this blog and start to ask questions. I don't want to offend anyone. If you look carefully, I don't mention the name of anyone who hasn't given me permission to do so. So, I'm under a bit of a moral quandry about whether to write, or not write. I'm leaning towards write, because if nothing else, it might spark a bit of conversation with the person mentioned. They'll know who they are. (And if you are reading, do try to take this as "thinking out loud")

So, anyway, whenever I go home, I like to stop in an visit all of the people who helped me shape my early teen years. That is, all of my old friends. Well, those that are still at home, anyway. And probably the parents of those who aren't. Just so that I can keep tabs on people. Find out how their lives are. A little prying, maybe, but I expect that everyone else does much the same thing (correct me if I'm wrong).

Each time that I go down, there are two people in particular that I like to visit. One has made something of their life. Job, spouse, fulfillment, the whole thing. They still live in the area out of choice. That's pretty bold to me (living in the same area you grew up). The other has done much less with their life. Still at home, still confined by the things that held them back as a teenager. I worry about this person. I want better for them. As if they were a child of mine, I want to bring them to a better place and improve their life. Of course, I know that you can't do any of those things. You can bring a horse to water, and all that.

Still, I keep trying to convince them that the life that they have (though possibly fulfilling in its own way) isn't as much as they could be having. Maybe they're not ready for it, or maybe they just don't want more out of life than what they have. There's history there that suggests either. I won't go into it.

This second friend of mine just happens to be female. I'm probably a little overzealous with my attention towards them. There's reasons for all that though. She's the only one still in the area. I worry about her (as I've already said), and well, She's one of the people that I feel that I could have helped more while I was growing up.

Let me let you all in on something. When I was growing up as a teenager, I chose to take a neutral stand on things. On as much as possible, really. I vocally gave up opinions for a period of about four years. I just didn't take sides. Naturally, highschool is a breeding ground for misunderstandings, misinterpretations, quarrels and side-taking. I figured it would be easier to remain neutral. That way I could see all sides of a problem and help to mediate. Nice plan, except that I also felt that mediation was a form of meddling. So, I kept my ear into all the news and gossip, but I never interveened. It did mean that at the end of highschool I was still friends with all the people I knew, but it also meant that I was never really asked for advice (except on pressing matters), and never really managed to help the people I cared (and still care) so much about. I haven't really bothered to talk to anyone about this either (well, Brenda, but she's not someone from highschool who might need to hear it).

And now, the issue for today. I've been trying to get ahold of my friend again, even though I'm at home. I still want to know what she's doing. If she had email, I'd email her. She doesn't. So, the phone is the only way to get ahold of her. I called about a week ago and got nothing the first time. I tried a little later in the week and talked to her for about 2 minutes because she was on her way out. No problem, she said she'd call back. I knew that this meant that I'd have to give her a call later. That's the way she is. I called today, and she's no in but her mom lets me know that she's concerned. I'll attribute the concern to her mom anyway, it lets me deal with it a little better. Her concern is that I might be stalking her daughter.

I'll say that again. She thinks I'm stalking her daughter. As it was told to me though, it's that my friend thinks I'm stalking her. I can attribute the thought to her mom though for several reasons. First, there's history that tells me that the family has something not quite right going on. I'll skip that and move on. Second, last time I was down, I invited my friend to move in to my house and live with me and the family. Hold on now, its not as kinky as it sounds. Let me explain.

Remember how I said I wanted more for my firend? Well, I want her to go back to college. I live in a city that has 2 universities and a few colleges. Toronto, Guelph and London are all reasonably nearby. That's 3 more universities, and who knows how many more colleges. Home has some similar opportunities, but she still has her family about her. And, it wasn't me who brought the idea up. Brenda thought that we had the room, and figured that anything we could do to help a friend would be good.

As for the stalking thing... I can see where she might get that idea. I mean, I bring my wife and family along with me, and all I want to do is spend time alone with her? Yeah, ok. Maybe a little creepy. But, I had loaned her a copy of my novel. I wanted to know her thoughts on it. How it flowed, how it read and so on. And, I hadn't seen her in over a year (probably 2). There's a lot to catch up on. I'm hurt by the accusation, but I'm going to try to ignore it until I can talk to someone else. Blogging helps, but there's no feedback on this thing. I've got to fix that one of these days.

Posted 2:05 PM by Tim
Spring seems like its finally here. I'm hesitant to say anything in case I scare it off. There's sun, and its nearly warm! The mounds of snow are melting off and making everything into slush and puddles. Good thing we have some rain gear here. It keeps the girls a little dryer.

Posted 6:10 PM by Tim
Just like to say that today I upgraded the firmware on my DVD player. It now supports VCDs. Also, since I have a VCD player, I don't have to spend as much time in my room to watch mepgs. Woo. It does mean I'm going to need more CDs though....

Posted 2:33 PM by Tim
Yesterday I was in the big city with Wayne. That's Toronto for all you out there who don't know. Its been a while since I've been in Toronto. I don't have much reason to be down there now that I'm not working there. We were on the hunt for computer components.

My main system, ROSA, is shy a little bit in the memory and storage areas for running VB.NET. So, I'm looking for a hardware upgrade. What I'd like is a good RAM boost and a new 40Gb HD. The drive would increase my total drive space ten times, and the RAM boost would be helpful. I'm looking at 128 Mb. Not much, but it'd give me enough to work with.

I've mentioned it before, but I like walking in Toronto. Sure there's the garbage on the sidewalks, the smells of cars, sewers and people, and the overly rude traffic and pedestrians, but I like the way it all works together. I guess I'm a city person.

We arrived in the city, and had planned to park near one of the places we were going to visit. That didn't work out because there was a parade going on (St. Patrick's Day). So, we detoured, parked and walked down to the place we were looking for. It wasn't that far, maybe 5 blocks.

I think I'm a little different in the city than I am elsewhere. A little more rude and rushed. I'm not sure why. I was trying not to be rushed. Especially considering the eye candy that is springtime in the city. Anyhow, we walk a ways down Queen looking for the elsectronics store. Its a strange place for electronic components, really. Right in the middle of the fashion district.

Anyway, after a little walk we find the place. We look everywhere for a CD-ROM drive, but no luck, they haven't got any that aren't in computers already. I'm not going to pay $40 for a piece of hardware I can buy new for less. We give up, take a look at a few of the other surplus electronic stores in the area and move on. We nab a slice at a Pizza Pizza (there's one every 3 blocks or so), and get back on our way.

We want to stop at the FutureShop while we're here, and maybe 401 Convenience if we have the time. That means leaving our spot ($6 parking too), and then driving through traffic to the new spot (another $6), and then walking to where we wanted to go anyway. Wayne suggests the subway. He hasn't ridden it in a while, and figures it'd be a good way to get around without too much additional hassle or cost.

So we walk to the subway station, and get onto the platform. I'm happy that the price for a ride hasn't changed - its still $2.25, but at least it hasn't gone up. I check out the subway maps, get ourselves oriented and we wait at the platform for the train to arrive. I tell Wayne about the third rail, and to keep off the yellow strip near the edge. He wonders why, just as the train comes. Of course the winds and vortesx of the high speed train fill him in on the answer to his question.

We ride the subway to College, which is just north of the spot we would have parked in. A little walk down to 401, and we chat with the locals. Well, Wayne chats, and I look for stuff to improve the Vampire deck I need to build for the tournament this month. We're not there too long, and we head out to FutureShop.

They're busy, but not terribly so. We pick up a stick of RAM each. 512 for Wayne and 128 for me. Turns out that the 512 chip won't work in Wayne's system (and he tried a 256 earlier), so he ends up with the 128 chip, and we'll probably return the 512 so I can buy a 128 (I don't have the cash for the 512... I may install it anyway just to see what its like).

We get a call from Bren and its time to come home. No more adventures for today.

Posted 8:26 AM by Tim
My oldest daughter loves dresses. She really does. She'd wear them all the time if she could.

She wants to wear one to school today, but it's much too cold for that. And, of course, she wanted to go without underwear. Ummm... I think that's a "no." I told her to get changed and wear pants and shirt instead. Something warm. So, when I go up to check on her again, she's dressed in pants and shirt, but she's hiding, and being really quiet. Something is up. I finally manage to coax her from behind the door and see what she's wearing.

She's got on a pair of pants and a sweater, but her butt is huge. It's like a really bad parody of those southern women who are really "hippy." She's still got the dress on, but figures that if she just stuffed the dress out of sight, I wouldn't notice. Ummm... yeah. Back to the change room for her.

Posted 11:36 PM by Tim
My youngest is apparently swearing a little bit now. I'm sort of confused about what to do about it.

See, personally, I don't swear. Not that I haven't wanted to on many occasions. I just don't see much use in it. It's stemming from a more or less defunct religious prohibition on swearing. Now, personally, I see swearing as uncreative and inexact. I'm sure that I can be more creative and precise with regular language.

I see swearing in several lights. One is that its a pretty vulgar method of expressing, as I've already said. Second, its a widely used form of expression, and has validity in language. Third, its nearly impossible (and I dare say, impractical) to think that we can totally curb the use of these words.

So, on one hand, I'd perfer that she not swear, and on the other, I'm not really that bothered or affected by it. Many, many children are quite fluent (and vocal) about swearing by the time that they are the age of our youngest. Like I said, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

Posted 6:55 AM by Tim
Job hunt day today. Went and dropped my resume to a number of places. Also got told that I should just email them instead. I suppose its easier to hit the delete key than it is to recycle. Actually I can see it being cheaper even if they kept the resumes.

Posted 12:54 PM by Tim
I'm thinking about the X-Men today. Well, specifically the idea of Dr. Xavier's mansion and school for the gifted. If you don't know already, the school is the place for mutants to go and get to learn things in school like everyone else. I mean, I know that it must be nice to have a place that you can just be yourself. Right? Even if that means that some of your classmates fly, or can lift 2 ton objects without breaking a sweat or can shoot lasers from their eyes.

There's the little bit of hassle about the logistics of this though. The school is supposedly full of teenagers. That means that you're going to have people in the midst of puberty who in addition to dealing with all the puberty things have these freakish powers that they have to learn to deal with and control. I mean, most 12 to 14 year old boys have trouble keeping control of an erection, and they might have the ability to suddenly burst into flames when they're excited. That has to be a little bit embarassing. And who's keeping the guy who can turn himself invisible from just sitting in the girls washroom all day?

For me though, the biggest problem children would be the people who have telepathic and telekinetic abilities. They'd have to be the worst. Especially those with both powers. Not only are you able to be the biggest voyeur ever, but you can always blame any odd clothing movements on "the wind."

Putting that aside for a moment, isn't it irresponsible for the school to just let the kids use their powers when then want? I mean, it's only natural for humans to find the laziest way of doing something possible. If I had telekinetic abilities, I'd never bend down again. I'd just float it up into my hand. For that matter, I'd probably never get off the couch. I'd just open the fridge with my mind and float a pop out into the living room. For that matter, I might not walk anywhere either. I'd just get powerful enough to float myself (and possibly also the couch) to wherever I needed to go. I'd be one fat freak.

Anyway, back to my point, the school shouldn't let them just run amok with their powers. They'll never fit in elsewhere. If the guy who can freeze things gets too hot in the summer, he just freezes himself a chair and he's cool again. Try that at a pool or on a beach somewhere and you're going to get strange looks.

Then again, maybe the school has an "acting normal so you don't get beat up" class? If that's the case, then maybe it's not so bad.

Posted 12:41 PM by Tim
Bren and I have this small problem with saving money. After a while of scrimping and saving we get tired of all the restricitons and hassles. So, we spend. We splurge. Money goes out of style for us. It's more or less the path that's gotten us here today. Here being our financial situation. Well, let me lay it out for you.

Both of us have student loans. I've got an additional loan to float the cost of the extra school I've taken. So, we can't count that towards our self imposed debt. We've got credit, like everyone, but we tend to have a $0 balance, which is good. Our accounts are many and varied :) We've got some cash set aside and we're doing ok. If it wasn't for the loans, we'd be fine. Probably even a little ahead.

So, all I need to do now is get rid of our loans. They're massive. Around $100K. Yeah, I know that's a house, or heaven forbid - a really nice car (a car that nice had better drive me to work all on its own and come complete with a masseuse). That's our main stumble right now. The debt. If not for that, we'd be great. Gotta get a job and pay some of that off.

Posted 1:58 PM by Tim
So... I've got this project idea in mind... well, several actually, but there's one at the forefront right now. I've got to work on it before the enthusiam wanes. Trouble is, it's not a fully fleshed out idea because it's artistic in nature. I've got the methodology of what I want to do down, just not the work itself. I've got to write something, and I don't know what. Something short.

I've never been good at short writing. I'm pretty long winded. So, I'm trying to mull out the outline of a story, and it's just not coming together. Maybe I'll get it worked out.

Posted 11:56 AM by Tim
The weekend is over and March Break has begun. Woo! Well, that's what I'd say if I was a young person. I'm a parent now, so it means having to find something for the girls to do all week. I'm still not sure what we're going to do with them.

I've got to do some serious job searching this week. I've got the time where I don't have to worry about getting back to school by a certain time, so freeform interviews can be had.

The weekend just past, I hosted a tourney in Midland. It went well considering all the variables. I'll probably host another in a month or so. They're wanting a draft, so I'll have to look into that for them. Drafts take a little longer, but they're very interesting to do. Bren's not sure about running the tourneys, but I don't see the problem with them. I don't think I'm mind running one every month or so. I think Wayne wants me to run something local. To draw in more of the locals too. I don't think that I'm ready to be that organized, and I don't know who'd show up to a tourney that's not sanctioned. Much less where I'd hold it. Maybe after I get a little more practice in Midland.

Posted 5:39 PM by Tim
Still snowing. It's off and on here. The sun comes out, the snow melts. It goes behind a cloud and it snows. That's all there is with it here. I'm quite tired of it all.

The walk to the school is bothersome now. The snow on the ground is at least a foot high, and that means the going is slow. Its like an arctic trek just to get to school. And the girls let me know it. "I'm tired, I can't go any further." "My legs hurt." This from the girls who were running like madmen in the open spaces and climbing over everything they can. I mean, there's a path of sorts, but they insist on tromping through the ploughed stuff on the side of the road. The most difficult path possible.

Maybe its the planning and forethought thing that happens later on in life.

Posted 9:04 PM by Tim
No blogging in a few days. Time to recap the weekend.

Two tournaments this weekend past. One on Saturday, and one Sunday. I did bad at the Saturday one, so we'll leave it at that. The Sunday tournament was Bingemans, and that went rather well for me. 27th place. Seems a little bad, but there were at least 150 competitors, and it's my best showing yet. So, I'm quite pleased with the results.

Now, for the rest of the news. The brother-in-law and mother-in-law were out for the weekend. They brought the brother-in-laws' friend along too. They played (well, not the mother-in-law, but that's pretty much a given) in both tourneys and didn't do too badly for themselves. In fact, the brother-in-law managed an 8th place spot at Bingemans and took home a nice prize. Very nicely done.

On the homefront, I haven't managed to get very much cleaning done. Not sure why either. I have done a few nice drawings (maybe that's where all the time has gone??), and I haven't been a completely useless tit. I've got the basics done. That's not enough to keep the house going very long though. I'll have to put some real effort into it.

Oh yes, we borrowed a copy of The Iron Giant, which is probably one of the best movies I've seen come out of Warner Home animation studios. Good storyline, believable (if a little over the top) characters, nicely done and brilliantly put together. Its a little known secret that I'd love to do some animation. I can't draw the same circle twice, so that's going to be a long time in coming. Of course, the idea that 24 frames is about 1 second of video is pretty daunting. What did they say? Oh yes, that an animator's work for a week is about 3 seconds of screen time. Gah. 40 hours of work compresses into only 3 seconds of running time. That's harsh. I think I'll do what the Japanese animators do, and move as few things as possible. It means that the images have to be more detailed, but they don't have to be redrawn so much.

I suppose I could get something like Flash or Dreamweaver to put some animation things together, but that's really a little too ambitious for me. I'd like to just get the artwork up to some standard first. I'd need to create a consistent character first I guess. Maybe someday.